Insert lengthy story about head and shoulders mixed with as many vague but intelligent - sounding words in rapid succession, being sure not to actually let slip and let the reader feel like they grasp the garbage that flows freely from your keyboard.
Just like it does from those you learnt this word-waltz from, and those before them, and so on.
Your mother must be proud that you're following in such a noble profession. (she's given up on trying to understand what head and shoulders are, but she has a pretty good idea that your version doesn't exist. She was also young once. )
I agree with your mother.
Enter: now